DOWN TO EARTH FOR NEWCOMERS

My site for newcomers: WWW.DOWNTOEARTHTHERAPY.BLOGSPOT.COM

FREE PRAYER SERVICE

It's nothing religious, quite the opposite really. Just email your prayer request, anonymously if you like and I will say a prayer for you. If you like(please indicate so), I will post it and all those who visit here can have the opportunity to pray for you too. A friend mentioned how helpful this is and it's had me up all night thinking about it. Prayer is such a beautiful ancient ritual, so simple and direct, such a beautiful way for us to connect and re-connect without obligation. So please, consider yourselves invited.

SCORE: NOTHINGNESS 1 AGGIE 0

My newest challenge is that all is relatively quiet on the western front. Nothing much is happening these days, nothing on the go, no action, none at all actually. So I go through my trusty daily routines; exercising, meditating, walking in the park, eating, cleaning, cooking, talking to clients, writing, reading, seeing my fiancee, occasionally talking to or seeing friends & family. No major disasters to report, silently working through my issues on a vibrational level (sometimes there's nothing else to be done i guess). Faced with many moments of boredom during this relatively peaceful time, I notice how my anxiety rises in waves, hoping for some drama, something to keep the show exciting. Nothing comes, and I am forced to realize how hard it is to be in this place that I have so often hoped and prayed for. Quiet time has it's very own cross to bear it seems. Not as easy as I thought it would be, not as much sipping on pina coladas as I had envisioned. Being in the nothing is a brilliant challenge for all of us. Of course there are always things to work on, but when it's about letting go-it's about letting go, not circling again and again and prodding with the same stick. Watching the fire burn out on patterns and issues that no longer serve us seems even harder than when we were unconsciously participating in those troubles. To not create problems when there are none is a lot harder than solving ones you already have. At least you've already met the ones you have. 

MAYBE MY FAV QUOTE OF ALL TIME

whoa, this one is major...

"To live is so startling, it leaves but little room for other occupations..."

-Emily Dickinson

way to put it em-dog

NO RISK NO REWARD

No matter how often I do it keeping my boundaries is still one of the hardest things for me to do. With full awareness I blame my parents, hehe. No but really, I grew up in a very loving, very enmeshed family dynamic so now when it comes to having boundaries with people, I find it very hard to stick to my guns. There is however an irony whenever I do stick to them. I gear myself up for rejection, abandonment and all sorts of death and destruction scenarios that will surely result from my "selfishness" (co-dependance anyone?) Instead, I am met with respect and understanding and most unbelievably of all, more love. The part of my brain that after all this time still doesn't completely trust that it's ok for me to have boundaries becomes a little more convinced each time I do. Each time I say no, each time I hold steady my ground I get stronger and my relationships get stronger because I am not just a yes machine. And who can really have an honest, trusting, authentic relationship with a yes machine? I know I can't-because you never really know where you stand with them. So as much as we might love the instant gratification, the fix we get from ignoring ourselves and bending our own rules/limits to suit another or saying yes when we want to say no, there is a long term benefit to NOT doing so. It's called Integrity. Integrity is as good a gift as one can give and if that's what we are putting out, we can be sure that it's certainly what we are going to get back. In essence, it is a message of encouragement to myself and to you readers, that it's worth standing up for ourselves, even if we feel the fear and even if it means losing favor with someone we love. In the end we are gaining our own respect and learning a deeper kind of love, and that my friends, is a reward for which I am fully willing to risk.

SLEEP

I just woke up from possibly the best sleep I have had in a month. Not that I was having crappy (or as one of my clients likes to say crappity) sleeps all along, they were just nothing to rave about; some tossing, some turning, some intense dreaming, some hot feet, someone's knee in my leg space on occasion. I was getting enough rest but once in a while it's nice to have the cadillac of sleeps, the kind that can only be described as delicious. The kind you don't want to hear about when you've laid awake all night and someone else is telling you how fresh as a daisy they feel. It truly makes me realize how important it is to do whatever we can to get a good night's sleep. I know mom's, night owl's, artist's, teenager's and insomniac's have a greater cross to bear than most in the sleep deprivation department, but man oh man, what a difference it makes. It reminds me of going to the chiropractor, because when he's done cracking and snapping me, the world is just a brighter place, colors are vibrant again and my senses are re-engaged. For the scientific final word to back my own findings, I went to the National Sleep Foundations website ( i love there are people that care that much about how you sleep that they are willing to start a foundation!). Well the impact on health is massive, from more car accidents to terrible decision making to loss of brain chemicals- these are just a few of the things that can happen without sleep. I am willing to concede that I've certainly made some terrible decisions from lack of sleep and frankly I can't afford to lose any more brain chemicals, I need all the ones I got, no accidents so far and not driving a car here in NY may be the only reason why. So let's make a pact, nothing gets assessed until we get a decent night's sleep and a nourishing healthy meal- it's the least we can do for all we put ourselves through, don't you think?

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Did everyone see Stephanie's amazing comment, sorry to put you on the spot Stephanie, but it's so poignant that I just had to put it on the front so that I could see it more often, i think it's one of my new favorite quotes:

"I love to dig up seeds to see if they're growing. This, of course slows their progress."

-Stephanie McCracken

NEEDS

When we first begin therapy, we may find out about our NEEDS and that we actually have some and that there's nothing wrong with having them met. It's a great experience to discover that this can actually happen, that you can ask for what you need and receive it. You may ask your spouse to turn off the TV while you are talking or that you need time alone from your friends, and much to your surprise they do it! So you do that for a while and it feels good, and then you forget about it because it becomes second nature over time. You get used to it-you may even plateau at that stage thinking that it's just that easy. Not to say that it isn't, however the topic of NEEDS does get more complicated as we go deeper. Now as we grow we may sometimes find that even when we ask there are certain things that we just cannot seem to get, no matter how hard we try, (i want more money, i want more security, i want to relax, i want to meet that special someone, i want that job...you get the idea). It's a strange thing because here you were getting your needs met and now here you are not getting the things you want. How are they different? you might ask.

So if we break it down, what we may notice is that in the first case we already felt we deserved what we were asking for and so we got it, that's the law of attraction at work. Secondly I want to point out an important characteristic of why certain desires go unfulfilled. If there is an element of A) Not believing that we already have it, you can forget it, we cannot manifest anything we don't already picture having, being or doing and B) when we have urgency around healing, receiving, manifesting, solving, then we are creating a time pressure and that may not be synced up with Divine Timing (the different laws of the universe converging in a timeline). In essence what I am saying is to get what we want we have to both believe we already have it and let go of having it at the same time. No more checking in, No more watching the pot (my personal favorite ax to grind). A simple formula that's quite the challenge but I highly recommend enjoying the process of getting there all the same.

New Definitions

Lately I have been really triggered by the question, "So, what are you doing today/these days?" 

Most of the time my rebellious side wants to answer "Nothing, I am doing absolutely nothing important and what are you doing that's so great huh?." After some long walks with my buddy Eckhart Tolle (in my headphones), i came to a few realizations that I'd like to share about why this seemingly normal and polite inquiry gets me so mad. I feel like I am moving further and further away from traditional definitions of what "work" and  "productivity" mean to me and am all out rejecting the idea of "doing" as a whole. It's taken me a good ten years to come to this, which makes me all the more protective of this now that I am here. I have had to work through family and societal patterns around money and what it means to be a useful part of society; a slow, sometimes painful and sometimes freeing process. New definitions come to mind now, like what it means to exist: how important and helpful it is to simply BE. The more I am myself, the more aligned I am with source, the more I am in the flow, the more chance there is that I can help someone in a positive way. The questions I'm asking myself and that I'd rather be asked by others are-what feels good?, how do you like to spend your time? what vibration are you in right now? what feeling are you acknowledging? Generally speaking people want to know what you are doing, this and how much money are you making while doing it have come to define the worthiness of our daily lives. It's easy to measure I guess, easier than the more fluid, less exact science of being. So what i am saying is that my new definitions aren't definitions at all, I am and want to continue to be growing into the space that is the absence of definition. So if you happen to ask me what I am up to and you are met with a long deep silence, don't worry, only know that I am just stretching into my being-ness one day at a time.

SPIRITUALITY ON THE ROCKS

A COLUMN BY THERAPIST AGNES KOWALSKI

this issue: WHY KIDS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR KARMA

We all know that kids are cool. There's no getting around that fact and it rings true for most people. There are however, a few crabby apples out there whose main complaints are that children are selfish and demand too much attention. True as this might be, to point it out makes it personal. What's likely is that these people are seeing their own reflection and projecting it onto the child. Or they have not spent enough time with little ones to see them for the emotional goldmines that they actually are. Kids have a tough job, no doubt about it. Not only are they supposed to be polite, thoughtful and obedient but they also have the hideous task of being the quintessential symbol of joy and innocence in the world. Does that sound like it would be easy to balance? I know most adults out there would shudder at the task or at least reason that it's not their responsibility to inspire the entire world around them. Never once have I seen a kid say, "Mom, it's not my job to make you feel better." They just do it and we greedily accept.

Just as in all relationships, children act as mirrors for us also. Often the things we love or can't stand about them are the things we love or can't stand about ourselves-the same can be said for our partners. We are relational beings and we come to understand our world and our place in it through relating with other humans. That seems to be why people often have strong love-hate reactions to kids. What we don't realize is that they are reflecting a part of ourselves to us. It is more often than not a part that we've long forgotten or buried, like how afraid we were growing up. Or it's a part of us we wish we could develop, like the child we admire for his athletic or musical abilities. Either we remember how playful and sweet we were or we remember how painful it was to have that innocence stolen or worst of all, we don't remember at all. Children become our beacon to healing in this way, our soul's reminder of what's left undone. Though I am certain they are unconscious that they are doing so, they are nevertheless a great catalyst for our own transformation. We have an opportunity as they grow, to grow ourselves, to go back in time and heal the past, and, as a result, create a better future for the both of us.

Kids will keep you younger than that $100 La Mer cream on your nightstand. First off let's agree that we're talking about kids prior to years of abuse or damage from their environment as that obviously changes the child intrinsically. As kids, we don't really have filters. We don't have all of these accumulated years of stereotypes and biases and hurts and wounds that inform our everyday actions. Kids either like something or they don't, they don't spend all day thinking about if they like this person or not, it's instantaneous. They truly wake up to a new day each day. They have a thought then make a decision, it's that simple. It seems in our day to day grind, we forget how simple a decision can be if it comes directly from our gut instead of filtered down through our rational mind. The lack of filters kids have opens the world up-there are no mental constructs or prejudices, every time they encounter something, it really is their first time. It's amazing that as parents or caregivers we don't notice how close we are to enlightenment when we are close to kids. They are here to teach us how to make every time new. They show us how to engage our positive curiosity. We call it apprehension, they call it adventure. I have a friend who would visit the newborn floor of the hospital each week to, as she claimed, "listen to the messages of the enlightened masters." Now some might think that a room full of drooling poop machines might have nothing more than a dirty diaper to offer. But then again maybe she's not that far off.

Dr.Ian Stevenson and author Carol Bowman are two people who believe in the amazing power that children have. Both have written about and studied reincarnation in children. Stevenson has spent forty years of his life dedicated to the scientific study of children's past life regressions. He found that children from ages three to five were very open and clear about remembering unprompted who they were and the circumstances of their past lives. Bowman, who has written several books on the topic, including, "The Past Lives of Children," discovered children's spiritual abilities through her own children's spontaneous past life memories. Other healers, like Vianna Stibal, founder of the Theta Healing technique, are eager to teach others about the various healing and psychic powers of children. The support of children as teachers in the alternative healing community is unanimous.

To illustrate my point even further, I decided to interview some kids I know for this piece. I asked my six year old niece Laura and my ten year old nephew Ian some pretty serious questions and here's what they had to say:

Me: What do you think the U.S should do about the energy crisis?
Ian: Turn off the lights when you're not using them.
Me: Who would you pick for president of the world and why?
Ian: My self because I think that I could help the world.
Me: That is the best answer ever.
Me: How can we put a stop to the fighting in the world?
Laura: Be nice to other people so they're nice to you.

It just doesn't get any clearer than that. It's amazing how much time we spend giving children information and how little time we spend soliciting it from them. Kids clearly have a very strong connection to the Source. Whether to you the Source means God, the Universe or just inner essence, it is something that we as adults need to help them cultivate. The cultivation helps them to recognize their own gifts and insights and it also helps us to recognize our own. It becomes also our own return to this inner essence, this place of connection which we spend our lives seeking through relationships, careers, money, or addiction. Our society places so much importance on intelligence, but as Eckhart Tolle says, "Intelligence without presence can be very destructive." It is this fresh wisdom that children have that we must observe to find our way back, a level of openness that looks at life through "here and now" lenses instead of the "there and then" of the adult world. Observe and study them in their natural habitats, in playgrounds, while watching cartoons, or strolling through the park. Spend some time around children you know and you will start to see the magic unfold.

THETA HEALING...TORONTO, NEW YORK, FLORIDA

What is ThetaHealing....

It is a technique that teaches how to put to use our natural intuition, relying upon unconditional love of Creator Of All That Is to do the actual “work”. By changing your brain wave cycle to include the “Theta” state, you can actually watch the Creator Of All That Is create instantaneous physical and emotional healing. This technique has transformed my life and the life of my family and friends-I highly recommend it. It is an amazing addition to your self-care/self-healing practice as it works with core belief work and the magic of working with Creator, Source, Universe, God or whatever you call the bigger essence that surrounds us. I am now a certified Theta Practitioner and am able to offer private one on one sessions. If you have a group of friends or family members who want to do theta sessions, be a host and your session is free (with a minimum of 4 people + yourself). Theta sessions are $100/hr and $50/30 minutes. For more on Theta Healing check out: http://www.thetahealing.com/

The New Black

In my working class neighborhood of Kensington, Brooklyn there aren't many decades of fashion that aren't represented. The little old Jewish ladies represent the sixties moo moo, wearing it in the elevator, in our courtyard and if they're feeling particularly rebellious, even to the Foodtown down the block. Then we have the teenage kids who are often wearing the latest in tight-ass jeans and tight-ass shirts with big earrings for the girls and 2XL pants and 2XL shirts and hats the size of salad bowls for the guys. Now for the thirty-something crowd like myself that isn't a lot of inspiration to draw from in terms of what's "in." There is one trend however that does stand out and that trend is alive...literally. I'm talking about babies. No thirty-something would be caught dead walking these streets without a stroller, a Baby Bjorn or a knee high human tugging at their leg. Being a parent seems to be where it's at around these parts. Maybe it's a reflection of all the babies people are having in Hollywood or maybe people realize that little people make you look thinner, whatever it is, this season, babies are the new black.

NATIONAL POST ARTICLE

I am thrilled to share this super exciting news. I was featured in Saturday June 21st National Post (an extremely reputable nationwide newspaper in Canada) in the Body and Mind section, they did a full page article on the benefits of phone therapy. It's a special moment for me and one that I am so happy to be able to share with all of you. You can read it here until i get a decent PDF posted:

http://www.nationalpost.com/story.html?id=603091

THE CARAVAN: MEDITATIONS FOR EMOTIONAL HEALING

As many of you know and some of you are just finding out, I have been in New York for the past two years working on a meditation project with my creative partner Diana Kazakova, the other half of our company, The Caravan Group. We are gearing up to launch our 7 CD Meditation Set. The CD Set is called The Caravan: Meditations for Emotional Healing and we are so excited that it will soon be available to the public. We have spent the last two years creating, producing and recording these cd's and the companion book and it's really rewarding to see it all coming together at long last. The CD's are based around the 7 chakras or healing centers. I originally came up with the idea because I wanted a way for both myself and my clients to work on our stuff in addition to just talking about it. It is a meditative and musical experience that really helps clear, heal and transform all areas of our lives. Our new website is up now, though still in rustic form: www.thecaravangroup.com Please sign up to our email list so we can alert you when the cd's become available for purchase! A big thanks to everyone who has been involved and supporting us through the process of making this concept come to life, it's been a life changing experience and one that I am so grateful for. I actually listen to the cd's myself on a nearly daily basis and have found them to be an amazing tool for grounding, softening and inspiring myself. A beautiful reminder to take time for oneself, hope you get a chance to enjoy them as I continue to!

PHONE THERAPY FAQ'S

Here are some FAQ's people generally ask me about therapy:

How long will it take?

Therapy works as fast as you do. It takes a little time to build trust and get comfortable but most of my clients feel a difference from the first session. It is always at a pace that YOU are comfortable with. You are the captain of this ship.

How often should i book my sessions?

Most people book once a week (at least at the beginning to get the ball rolling). After you get into a groove, it is always good to keep checking in for maintenance every few weeks. Again, everyone is different and you get to choose what is right for you.

How much does it cost?

I have a sliding scale starting at $65 going to $100 with a special rate for students. I use the honor system, for clients to choose what range they are comfortable with, as everyone has different financial possibilities. I am certainly more flexible about the rate depending on how often we speak. Please note: i have never turned anyone away who wanted therapy but couldn't afford the top rate.

Is it totally confidential?

YES. Absolutely. Unless i am subpoenaed by a court, your sessions are completely confidential. The other exception is if you are hurting yourself (suicidal) or if you are abusing someone else physically or sexually, then i am required by law to report the harmful activity to the authorities.

Is therapy covered by insurance?

Some plans do and some don't. Most don't because it is psychotherapy and not psychology or psychiatry.

Can you prescribe medication?

No. I am not a doctor.

What will we talk about?

Each session is different, and whatever you are sitting with at the time is where we start. It is much better to have a consultation, as it is quite difficult to describe in writing what happens. Consultations are free!

PHONE THERAPY DE-CONSTRUCTED

Many people contact me to ask how this whole phone therapy thing works, so i thought i would post a step by step for those who love a step by step (like me!)

1. Set up a day/time through email or phone that works for both of us
2. Send payment through paypal or online banking www.interac.ca
3. Call at the appointed time and begin our session

Yes it is that easy.

I am also available for consultations to see if we are a fit for each other, so don't be shy, you don't have to commit until you feel it's right for you.

ARCHETYPE WORKSHOP MAY 10TH

Archetypes offer us a world of insight into all aspects of ourselves and our lives. My colleague Jennifer Ganske and I will be conducting a one day workshop on the topic.

What are archetypes? They are universal symbols that speak in the language of the subconscious, they can reveal a lot about our shadow and light aspects. Sounds deep but actually we use them in our everyday: Ever feel like a Victim? Think someone is a Princess or Diva? Do you find you are the Saboteur of your success or relationships? Notice how people sell themselves just like a prostitute? Well if you can identify with any of these, we are going to explore them in depth! The day will be split in half with the morning part being led by Jennifer who will lecture on how to understand, identify and explore your archetypes and their purpose in your life, this will be followed by a lunch break and in the second half of the day I will lead some experiential exercises to connect with and begin working with your core archetypes.
Please come join us for a day of discovery and empowerment! Limited space is available so pre-registration is required, email me at ask@agnes@yahoo.com or phone 646-293-5824. We have a beautiful loft space in midtown manhattan for the workshop, see you there! Check out our flyer here (just click on it for a 100% full size) and our ad in the
NewYork SPIRIT Magazine Calendar.

FOR A MORE PROFESSIONAL LOOK...

check me out on my grown up site: www.therapytoronto.ca lots of cool other therapists on there too, oh and try not to judge the photo, it's very, very fishbowl lens.

WHY YOU NO CALL ME?

I know it must seem odd that a phone therapist has no phone number listed on her blog or flyer. However this is just my little way of screening people and keeping my phone time efficient, otherwise as mom used to say, why would anyone by the cow if they can get the milk for free (my mom actually never said that, but it seems to be an urban myth that mothers do). In any case please feel free to email me at ASKAGNES@YAHOO.COM tell me a little about why you are seeking therapy and i promise to respond uber promptly!

NEW MISSION: DOING NOTHING

There's a good section of the population who are already very good at this, if this is you, go do something productive. For the rest of you, i'd like to invite you to the promised land, it's called Nada-landia. The place of doing nothing. Monks do it and how wrong can they really be? They live to be 300 years old. Make no mistake, it is an art. It requires just enough energy not to fall asleep but not so much energy that you end up thinking. Taking my lead from Eckhart Tolle (http://www.eckharttolle.com/), it starts with not labeling or naming anything but just experiencing it. Try not saying in your mind, now i'm going to go lay on the couch, just experience laying on the couch-you will see how very different the two are. I've gotten pretty good at it, but sometimes i do get jacked up about this or that and need to be reminded that there's only ever this moment. And being present in the nothingness IS being present in all of it! Now go lay on the couch and do nothing, that's an order!

MY LECTURE AT THE CCNM..

That's right, yours truly lectured about Blocks to Intimacy at the Canadian College for Naturopathic Medicine. Those doctors are awesome, no antibiotics, no chemicals, all natural! If only all doctors could be so open. Truth is I wanted to give you the slide show of the whole thing but alas I have been beaten by the computers gods yet again, so these few pics will have to do, just try to imagine the roaring crowds and thundering applause.

SHRINKTASTIC!

Ladies & Gents, i don't know if you're all aware but wanted to post this little bit of info. A little while back i was actually featured as a guest therapist in the cool/hipster magazine Complex. I posted it here for your viewing pleasure: