NO RISK NO REWARD

No matter how often I do it keeping my boundaries is still one of the hardest things for me to do. With full awareness I blame my parents, hehe. No but really, I grew up in a very loving, very enmeshed family dynamic so now when it comes to having boundaries with people, I find it very hard to stick to my guns. There is however an irony whenever I do stick to them. I gear myself up for rejection, abandonment and all sorts of death and destruction scenarios that will surely result from my "selfishness" (co-dependance anyone?) Instead, I am met with respect and understanding and most unbelievably of all, more love. The part of my brain that after all this time still doesn't completely trust that it's ok for me to have boundaries becomes a little more convinced each time I do. Each time I say no, each time I hold steady my ground I get stronger and my relationships get stronger because I am not just a yes machine. And who can really have an honest, trusting, authentic relationship with a yes machine? I know I can't-because you never really know where you stand with them. So as much as we might love the instant gratification, the fix we get from ignoring ourselves and bending our own rules/limits to suit another or saying yes when we want to say no, there is a long term benefit to NOT doing so. It's called Integrity. Integrity is as good a gift as one can give and if that's what we are putting out, we can be sure that it's certainly what we are going to get back. In essence, it is a message of encouragement to myself and to you readers, that it's worth standing up for ourselves, even if we feel the fear and even if it means losing favor with someone we love. In the end we are gaining our own respect and learning a deeper kind of love, and that my friends, is a reward for which I am fully willing to risk.